One such tune he frequently sang was by The Mills Brothers, “You Always Hurt the One You Love.” It seemed an odd choice coming from the man who woke me with Oh What A Beautiful Morning from Oklahoma. Who entertained me on long car rides with the chorus of “I Love A Parade” from Music Man. Who encouraged me with “It Took A Miracle” by Eddie Arnold.
I was most confounded by the first two lines which were:

You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn’t hurt at all

It simply made no sense to this young girl with an unjaded, romantic view of love. What is love if not kind? Hurting others wasn’t kind. Why would you “always hurt” someone you loved?

Well, life and circumstance have a way of turning over the ground in our souls allowing wisdom to spring up. I can confirm that hurting someone you love isn’t kind. But it is what we humans do. 

Strangely, I believe it happens because love provides a safe space. One where, in our selfishness, we might assume we’re always loved in spite of our unseemly behavior. 

Hurt and fear lash out swiftly and cruelly and most often have no filter. This is sad but true. And I am guilty as charged. I so often hurt the ones I hold dearest to my heart because I expect they’ll understand. And forgive.

Beginning with God. 

So today I’ll start at the top and strive to remember love isn’t rude or bossy. I’ll extend grace when those who profess their love act unbecomingly toward me. I’ll turn the other cheek and wait for them to calm down or come around so we can have an open and constructive conversation. I’ll be the first to apologize and the last to react to their anger.
LORD, help! It’s the only way I can…

That’s what’s on my mind today.

Be Kind. Love Well.

~ Tonda

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We spend a lot of time watching cooking shows. Isn’t it funny how those trained chefs make you feel like you can sauté, flambé, and fricassee? But my favorite, the one I’d love to cook and eat dinner with every single night, is Ina Garten. She teaches you to cook like a pro and she motivates me to jump in and go for it! 

When seeking a recipe I always look to her first. I pull up the ingredients and follow her written steps precisely. We’re never disappointed by the outcome. 

However, when I watch her, I learn the ins and outs of letting ingredients come to room temperature or allowing things to rest before or after you cook them, and many other unique nuances I won’t find written in the recipe. 

For example, her recipe details all of the elements I need for a successful lemon poppyseed cake. With Ina, I’ve learned that when she says “add a teaspoon” in the steps, on TV she may actually heap the spoon rather than level it, which affects the outcome. Or when making yummy veggie ciabatta sandwiches on the panini press she may say doing this or that will help the flavors to marinate (don’t I sound professional?). She always tosses in a bit more salt and she’s a fan of extra-large eggs. Who knew?

I think this might be a little like my relationship with God. I read His word and get all the details for a delicious life. Steps I can follow. 

But when I’m continually aware of His Spirit springing up and living, moving, breathing as me I feel beyond capable in every situation. He has layered the ingredients for a life of Divine decadent deliciousness. I believe so much in who He is inside of me, that He comes alive in new ways that make me stand back and declare, “That was satisfying!”

His Word is the recipe, but His Spirit is the secret ingredient to a life that overcomes. Tune in and watch and listen. Follow His lead. Prepare to see the glory of the LORD!

Let’s be bold and courageous as we sample all that life in Him has to offer.

“Taste and see that the LORD is good!” – Psalm 34:8

Now I think I’ll go try my hand at the lemon poppyseed cake.

Be kind. Love well.
~ Tonda

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